I used to watch Full House everyday after school. I can remember having a conversation with my brother about what life would be like after Full House– I couldn’t imagine it. I wanted to be in that family. I didn’t care what character I was– Kimmy Gibbler if I had to– I just wanted in!
You know why I wanted to be a part so badly? It may have had something to due with the cool clothes and hair do’s of the 3 girls, but mainly it was the chats. Every episode 1 of the girls would get off track in some way, but everything would be set back to normal when they had a chat with 1 of the adults.
Often the adults would admit to something they had once done, the girls would apologize, they’d talk, they’d hug; it was dreamy.
Now, if you know me, you know that I have some big emotions. I’ve had them all my life. Many days of my childhood I ended up in my room– mostly because I’d run and hide in there out of anger or fear. And you know what I wanted most of all? The chat.
But our family’s way through emotion and hard conversations was mostly by letting time pass.
I assure you, time does not magically create relationship. Sometimes we don’t need to say everything. But if we find that we never say anything hard, we’ll get no where good.
You know what I’m learning at Mosaic? Having real relationships means having hard conversations.
The people I have in my life right now, who I value deeply– I’ve had at least 1 hard convo, where I’ve cried, maybe they’ve cried– we’ve asked difficult questions or admitted challenging things.
Sometimes I feel like crap immediately after these convos. Sometimes I wake up the next day feeling afraid– vulnerability hangover is a real thing. But eventually clarity comes.
These conversations end up being turning points. Turning points towards deeper, more authentic relationships, or a realization that this person isn’t in this friendship for the same thing I am.
Either way– the clarity and the authenticity have never, ever, been a bad outcome. I feel known and loved in this world not because people like what I put on Facebook, but because I have had some really hard, crappy conversations with people– and we’re both still sticking with each other.
As we move towards Mo 2.0 I urge, beg, and encourage you to have the chat, to have the hard convos that you know will bring clarity. Now is the perfect time. Blame this blog– just say, “Lacey told me to bring this up…”
The person who you have this niggly, hurt, bruised, bashed or just uncertain relationship, and you wonder about where you stand with them — schedule a coffee, or a walk, or anything. Plan it now, lean in. Just start with, “It may be nothing, but I’ve been thinking about….”
Who do you want to lean into as we move towards Mo 2.0?
What do you hope comes from that relationship? If you hope for deep friendship– hard convo now, rather than regret later is the way to go.